Spider Bite

No, this is not a drink being served at the clambake this weekend... It's what I have on the right side of my rib cage. I think that some little critter took a bite out of me on Friday and now I have a red, hot, swollen, tender circle about FOUR INCHES in diameter on the right side of my rib cage. On Friday and Saturday I felt really weird and "flu-like" - turns out those are symptoms of spider bites. I even went to the doctor today - they were impressed by it. It might not actually be a spider bite (spiders rarely bite), but it sounds cooler than a bug bite. I went to the doctor because in rare circumstances spider bites can be extremely dangerous and even fatal. Basically, I didn't want to miss the clambake...

I still like spiders...

Just Another Beautiful Fall Day

Fall is here! Sam and I love fall. It's cooler outside and we don't pant so much. I pretty much love every season, but Sam doesn't like summer so much. He's black and has a lot of fur so he gets really hot. Mom is going to post a picture of us from last fall. She had us pose (we're good at posing) and then she set up the camera and said, "Ssssttaaayyyyy, sttaaayyyy, stttaaayyy..." and she ran and got in the picture too. We thought she was being a little weird, but we stayed.

Today, I got lots of napping done, a little walking and trotting, some barking, and eating. A full day. Time for bed...

Gratitude

I am grateful for Abby's cancer. I am grateful for my old house. I am grateful for the leak in my skylight that drips on the edge of my bed. I am grateful for my utility bills. I am grateful for my friends and family. I am grateful for my agility students. I am grateful for my incredible crew of in-home pet therapists. I am grateful for the comforter on my bed keeping me warm. I am grateful for the breeze blowing outside. I am grateful for Sampson's illness last February. I am grateful for my employment. I am grateful for the new people that have recently entered my life. I am grateful for wine. I am grateful for all the cats that have found me when they needed help. I am grateful for parties. I am grateful for Emmy's episode of founder in January. I am grateful for the tomatoes still ripening in my garden. I am grateful for everything and everyone in my life. During a visit to the ATMA Center Swami Shankardev once said, "Just remember, it's all good. Even the bad."

I wouldn't be who I am without the support and challenges that have come my way. I am grateful...

Just Wondering...

...if anybody has noticed that the subheading on the blog (below the Living Like Abby heading) changes daily. Just curious...

The Most Beautiful Music

Last night when I returned home I heard the most beautiful music. The sound of two dogs barking me into the house. The most beautiful music in the world...

The Little Blond Dog

I love this little blond dog. A quote for (from) Abby:

If you let your fear of consequence prevent you from following your deepest instinct, your life will be safe, expedient, and thin.

by Katharine Butler Hathaway

Abby had some breakfast and yucky pills this morning - BLECH! Hated the pills this morning... Now resting quietly. Sleeping a lot - have to catch up. Slept all night long - we all slept all night long. Today is a good day to appreciate the little things in life...

A Thing of Beauty is a Joy for Ever

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever:
Its loveliness increases; it will never
Pass into nothingness; but still will keep
A bower quiet for us, and a sleep
Full of sweet dreams, and health, and quiet breathing.
Therefore, on every morrow, are we wreathing
A flowery band to bind us to the earth,
Spite of despondence, of the inhuman dearth
Of noble natures, of the gloomy days,
Of all the unhealthy and o'er-darken'd ways
Made for our searching: yes, in spite of all,
Some shape of beauty moves away the pall
From our dark spirits...
-- John Keats

A Rough Night...

...and a rough morning. Abby kept us up all night last night asking to go out and fussing and generally being uncomfortable. She would go outside about every hour to pee and have diarrhea (though not too bad, just really soft). This was torture for all of us. No sleep was had and much worrying was done. I took her temperature at about 2am or so and it was 102.1 - okay. Then at about 5:30am it was 103.1 - a bit high. Then at 7:15am it was 103.6. I had spoken with the Referral Center at 5:30am for advice and they said that they should have her blood results from yesterday, in this morning, so that might provide some insight.

I decided to wait until after the emergency hours to bring her in, so she and I went for a ride at about 8am. We arrived and waited a while, but they were great about getting us in. Abby was shaking, very quiet, and looked really uncomfortable, but otherwise okay (greeting people, wanted to greet dogs, etc.) She was a very much subdued version of her usual self. After talking with the doctor, we decided to do a couple of X-rays to make sure that there wasn't something in there that shouldn't be (for example, about 4 days ago, someone in the house chewed up a plastic fork used to distribute wet pet food). We also decided to do a urinalysis, mainly on my request because she had a nasty resistant UTI last year and she had been peeing and drinking a bit more.

So the X-rays showed nothing unusual and we don't have the urinalysis results back yet. Dr. Boria said that he was not too concerned (in stark contrast to me). It seemed that might be a good sign, since he does this a lot and I do not. When she was "in the back" of the hospital in a cage, I could hear her barking which I took as a good sign - "Don't leave me here! Don't leave me here!!" When they brought her out they said that she had also been jumping around and didn't look like anything was wrong. Soooo....we left with a prescription for Flagyl (metronidazole) which is an antibiotic that should also help relieve her diarrhea. When I got home I put a fleece shirt on her since the doctor had said that she might be shaking because she was cold (chills from the fever in the extremely air conditioned hospital). Since I did that, she hasn't been shaking, or at least it's so dramatically reduced as to not be readily noticeable.

Fast forward a few hours, her temp was still reading 103.6 - good that it had not increased, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with food. That means shoving lots of pills down her throat and she's quite clever about hiding them from you and then depositing them on the floor later. A lot of pills means - 3 K9 Immunity capsules, 1 cephalexin capsule, 1 fish oil capsule, 1 Tranfer Factor tablet, 1 metronidazole tablet, and then a partridge in a pear tree. Poor girl...

Thankfully, she is now sleeping comfortably on the floor in front of the window seat and has been sleeping (with a couple of moves, but no fussing) for about an hour or two, I think. Dr. Boria did not seem to think that this was related to the chemo or to the antibiotic, but to something she may have (shouldn't have) eaten. The good news is that her blood work from yesterday came back entirely normal with regular white blood cell counts. Definitely good news.

Sheer Joy

Nothing expresses sheer joy like a dog fully extended out a car window. Like Abby was today. She was reaching and reaching and sniffing and sniffing. Pushing the limits of stability and safety and thoroughly enJOYing every moment. I need to be more like Abby. Instead, I'm sad tonight, that Abby is sick. I wish she wasn't sick. But, of course, I still wouldn't know how much time we had left - we never know. I'm glad that I'm aware that I don't know. Even through my sad moments tonight, I'm remembering how happy we were all day today - laying in the field at the barn, bringing in the horses, sniffing the air, just hanging out. Sam and Abby and I had a great day today. I'm reminded of Reiki's Five Harmonious Principles:

* Just for today, do not worry.
* Just for today, do not anger.
* Honor your parents, teachers, and elders.
* Earn your living honestly.
* Show gratitude to every living thing.

Yes, Abby is sick, and yes, we're going to keep "living like Abby"...

Yeah! Going to the Doctor's!

So, we're going to see Dr. Boria today for a blood test to see how Abby's white blood cell count looks at one week past the start of chemo. We are now 11 days post diagnosis and 7 days into chemotherapy. Abby is almost totally transitioned to her new food (Innova EVO) and has started her supplement therapy (from Aloha Medicinals). Abby is also on a prophylactic antibiotic since the chemo suppresses the immune system.

She has not been diving into her food as much as she used to, but she's quite distracted by the second and third courses to her mealtime extravaganzas. First course - dry kibble with olive oil - pretty darn good. Second course - wet EVO dog food with lumps (pills) in it - yummy! Third course - 1/2 carrot - woo-hoo!! Occasional fourth course - cat food soup (water sloshed around in a now empty can of wet food) - UNBELIEVABLE! It's not that she's not hungry, she just wants the other stuff more than the dry food. She will eat it with only a little encouragement - as long as I don't move too much - then she thinks that I'm preparing her next tidbits and she follows me around drooling. Sam, meanwhile, thinks that Abby's food is the best thing in the world and makes thinly veiled attempts to steal anything in her bowl if she even glances away for a second. Bad, old dog!! What a great problem to have!

Advice for Puppies and New Dogs

Always follow your people wherever they go inside the house (outside do whatever you want). This is something people call loyalty (and can often result in treats or at least dropped food). Even follow them into the small room. All houses have them and some houses have several of them. People go in these rooms a lot - sometimes they go into the water-sprayer, sometimes they look at themselves in the shiny thing and fluff or remove their fur, sometimes they "take a walk", sometimes they put sticks in their mouths and chew on them - but they're in there a lot. There's usually not any food in the small rooms, but it's a good way to show that we're aren't just following them around for food (which we are), but also to protect them. They like to think that we are sometimes motivated by something other than food (even though we aren't).

Just a few pointers to help you kids out, from an old pro...

Dreamtime

Abby is at the foot of the bed on her right side, breathing very deeply, but not yet asleep. All of her paws are together and she is almost fully relaxed. Oops, just needed to shift position, now back to deep breathing, soon to be dreaming. Time to chase the rabbits and finally catch the mailman - show him who's boss....I got you now squirrel...a bottomless kibble bowl... running...jumping...can't catch me...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Nothing Much Happened Today

So...I was thinking...nothing much happened today. Then I thought - "How many miracles had to occur in order for me to think that 'nothing much happened today'"? My 14 1/2 year old dog, who almost died 1 1/2 years ago repeatedly escaped the yard to bother the neighbors' dogs - miracle. My 1994 Honda Civic with 300,844 miles on it drove another 40-some miles today - miracle. My 16 year old horse who foundered in January was out on pasture for 1 1/2 hours and then we rode merrily around the field bareback - miracle. My 12 1/2 year old dog who has a nasty, rare cancer was threatening to decapitate the mailman earlier and just jumped up into the window seat to watch squirrels - miracle. That's four miracles right there, and that's just the beginning...

Thoughts from Abby

When you're tired, sleep. When you're hungry, eat. When you see trouble, bark. When the cats knock over the lamp and the fan in the sunroom and there's a big crash, RUN!

Old Dogs and Old Cars

There's nothing like living with old dogs and old cars to teach you about living in the moment. When you wake up and they're breathing, you're happy. When you put the key in and the engine starts, you're happy. When they won't stop barking at the neighbors, you're happy. When the power windows still work (though slower than they used to), you're happy. Yes, there are a few extra vet and tow truck visits, but in the whole scheme of things... They know you, they fit you, they understand you, they protect you, they make you vulnerable - all good things. Shiny new cars and younger dogs are wonderful, too; they carry the illusions of safety, health, and long life. But we never know how many miles or years or minutes or feet are left in them - or us. With old dogs and old cars, the minutes and feet become more important. We still don't know how many are left, but now we know that we don't know.

Living Like Abby...

...isn't easy. To be that joyful, exuberant, uninhibited, and present - all the time - is a worthy goal, I guess. She's pretty much "all in" no matter what she's doing - greeting me at the door, eating, getting scolded, shredding toilet paper tubes, sleeping, humping Jinxie (one of the cats), barking, dreaming - she is "all in". I am fighting the impulse to tell her to "take it easy", "relax", "be careful" - what the hell. We're going to do the best we can for her and then let Abby be Abby. She's very good at being Abby...

No More Staples

Abby is very glad to be staple-free and back to running and jumping as she sees fit. Also, loves her new food - Innova EVO (high protein, high fat, low carb - yummy). We're doing a gradual transition, so she's only had a taste so far, but she likes it a lot!

A Busy Day for Abby

Well, Abby liked her lomustine treatment - because the pills were hidden inside Pill Pockets (soft treats with pockets in them). Of course, she loves nearly any food, she would eat a rock if it was inside a Pill Pocket. Then we went to have our sutures removed - Dr. Clemens was very happy with how her incisions have healed - thanks to some aloe applications and the T-shirt and scarf concoction, I think.



After the second vet visit, we went to the barn to see Emmy, and Abby promptly found a sewage like puddle and LAID DOWN in it and STARTED DRINKING IT. Yes, she was wearing her T-shirt at the time. As I ran towards her yelling, "Don't drink that, Abby!!", she kept lapping up the disgusting "water" until I reached her when she emerged from the puddle, completely inky black from her toes to her stomach. Since she is sans collar, I had to grab her by her dirty, stinky T-shirt and haul her into the barn to the wash rack where she reluctantly allowed me to hose her down. Yuck. She ran around the rest of the afternoon "naked" and had a fantastic time going on a walk around the field with me while I rode Emmy and visiting all her friends at the barn.



Sam was also with us all day and thoroughly enjoyed the barn and really hated the two vet visits. In the waiting room of the Referral Clinic, he actually tried to climb into my lap. He put his front paws up and then I lifted all 53 lbs. of him onto my lap. Sam does not like vet's offices very much.



Time for bed. Sam and Abby are already sleeping. Lesson for the day - play hard and then sleep hard.

First Post

Hello!

We have learned that the resident blond goofball (to distinguish from the rest of us goofballs) has cutaneous malignant epitheliotropic lymphoma.

On August 27th, Mike and I found an ulcerated lesion on her neck (hidden under her collar), she went to the vet on August 28th (we found another small lump on the other side of her neck) and we treated the lesion as an infection for five days (it was responding). The morning that we were to return to the vet for a recheck, I found two additional "lumps" and they were starting to look angry. They were red and all about the size of a pencil eraser, except for the ulcerated lesion on her neck which looked like a slice of pepperoni stuck to her neck. We decided to take them all off, as well as a bump on the top of her head that had been there for a year or so. So now Abby has staples. Lots of staples. She was to remain quiet and not run or jump or play or anything until the staples were removed. Hah! Fat chance of that. We tried, but she removed a staple on the first day, so now Abby wears a T-shirt and scarf 24/7 to keep her from picking, licking, scratching or otherwise disrupting her healing. Oh, by the way, we went on vacation to my parents' house in New York three days after her surgery - where she normally runs in the woods and generally raises havoc. Havoc was minimized by keeping her on leash, but she still managed to eat an entire ear of corn (scaring the bejesus out of us, requiring induced vomiting - of Abby, not us) and tracking a bear (we think, based on the "evidence" left "behind" by the tracked animal).

On Friday, September 11th, we received the news of the diagnosis, on September 14th, we visited the oncologist (Dr. Boria, VERY nice man) and today, September 15th we start chemotherapy and have Abby's staples removed. Dr. Boria has recommended five sessions of lomustine at three week intervals, so we're going to do that in addition to switching Her Highness to a high protein, high fat, low carb diet (no more pizza bones, Abby) and adding in some highly recommended immunity boosters (K9 Immunity, Transfer Factor, and fish oil for Omega 3's and 6's).

Drum roll, please..... We have decided to start...a blog... (several people who know me, just fainted, I'm sure) to share the lessons we're learning from Abby and keep everyone up on her progress. Please forgive a first time blogger's mistakes (I hate the word blogger) and feel free to offer me advice. The blog is http://www.livinglikeabby.blogspot.com/ and the first post should be up later today, but it's still in the building stage so don't get your hopes up :). We'll have pictures up on the site tonight...

We don't know what's coming except uncharted waters because this type of cancer usually has a relatively poor prognosis, but it is also almost never caught this early. The oncologist said he usually doesn't see this cancer until the dogs have ulcerated "plaques" all over them and at that time surgery is not an option. So that means, he doesn't know if the surgery to remove the lumps has helped or not. I guess we'll find out...

All the best to all of you - hug your pets from us!

Jen, Mike, Sam, Abby, the cats, and Emmy