Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Little Yellow Dog...

...will have to live in spirit and in our hearts from now on. Her body was too tired to continue any longer. She will be dearly missed.

We are not Living Like Abby. We are a mess. Our hearts are broken and we're exhausted. I am reliving every decision I made during her 10 1/2 years with us - from diet to spending time with her to chemo to diagnostics to potential carcinogenic contaminants in our drinking water. I'm blaming myself and I want to go back and fix whatever it is that I did wrong to cause her to not get better. It seems that it must be my fault somehow.

Sam and the cats think we're crazy and are acting totally normally. Sam is being a bit more affectionate - I think he's essentially patting us on the head and rolling his eyes. They just know that this is part of life - why can't we "just know" that?

On the drive home, at one point I said,"Abby didn't belong to us, she was a being who chose to be with us, and she had to leave." That seemed to be something that Abby might want us to know - maybe she was the one saying it...

Please find a way to Live Like Abby tomorrow - in her honor and because it's fun to Live Like Abby. All the best to everyone...

4 comments:

  1. My heart hurts too.

    I'm sending Love and Hugs...

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  2. Don't beat yourself up. You were the best dog parnet you could be to her & she always knew it, even now. If something could have been changed, it would have showed itself to you. Try & find some peace. My heart is with you.-Robin

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  3. I'm so sorry, Jen. I know how much you loved this girl, even from the short time that we've been in contact about her. And please, please don't blame yourself for what happened to her. I went through the same thing, always looking for something that I did wrong, but you know, there are so many things that can happen to cause disease to happen to anyone. Just cherish the time that you had with her, and keep her close in your heart. I'm sure she loved you as much as you loved her.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you,
    Rachel

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  4. Thanks for the kind words and thoughts. Hugs to all of you and your pets from us. Take care...

    Jen

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